Why Me?

Ministry can be hard. Personalities don't mesh. Sin gets in the way. Personal feelings, goals, and vision divide teams, and can sometimes lead to church splits.

Over the years, there are two times that leaving a position was very difficult for me. I shed some tears. I asked God "Why did this happen to me?" Honestly, I do not remember Him answering in any kind of timely manner (At least according to my time schedule). 

Both of these times resulted in opportunities that I would not have even begun to look for if I had stayed put. No matter how much we love a situation, God may have something different He needs us to do. Our present ministry, New Creation Ministries, was a result of God pulling me away from something. 

One truth we must realize is that God is not a reactionary God. At this point in time, I have cancer in my right eye. Why? I don't know. What I can put my hope in is that God has a plan. I love my ministry. I love being able to train and empower churches to turn their communities into mission fields. I know God is going to use this ocular melanoma for His glory.

Tomorrow morning, I have the golden plaque placed on the tumor. I have no idea what kind of pain level it will graciously give me over the next few days. I have no idea if or how much vision loss I will have in the long term. I am human (Although I will look at myself as a cyborg the next few days), and these unknowns give me a few butterflies in my stomach. Before we move on, let me please explain. Having butterflies does not diminish my faith. It simply shows my need for dependence on Him.

R.C. Sproul said, "Scripture says the just shall live by faith, which doesn't mean believing something when you're not sure if it's true. It means that the just shall live by trusting God. Paul distills the essence of the Christian life when he says, "Rejoice in your hope," since our joy is vested in the future that God promises for His people. Our joy as strangers and sojourners in this valley of tears is that God has prepared a place for us—a better world that will be consummated at Christ's return."

Our hope cannot rest in our health. It cannot rest on our goals. It must rest in the only thing that never moves or changes. Since before the hands of time began to move; God was there. Before the foundations of the earth were given; He was our Cornerstone. He was the Rose of Sharon before roses were growing on the earth. 

One of my favorite authors is Jerry Bridges. He said, "“The gospel invitation is wide-open to all: “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved” (Romans 10:13). “Whoever is thirsty, let him come; and whoever wishes, let him take of the free gift of the water of life” (Revelation 22:17). And yet when we come, we discover that we were chosen in Christ before the creation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). That is grace.” 

If you have never experienced God's grace, then I want you to do something for me. I want you to take a deep breath, and let the breath out slowly. The fact that you were able to take that breath is by God's universal grace to all mankind. Now, if you have never experienced God's saving grace, then pray and ask God to open your eyes to your need for a Savior. God is so good, and I thank God for allowing me the opportunity to serve Him. 

Please feel free to ask any questions you may have in the comment section.

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