A Tribute To My Mom

For those who do not know, my mom is not expected to live that much longer. She has suffered with dementia for around 11 years. Naomi first noticed it when Ethan was around 12 years old.  Dementia is a horrible disease, and it eventually changes the entire personality of the person. In what is probably her final weeks on earth, I would like to write a short tribute to my memories of her.

Sarah Dianne Milam was born and raised in Attalla, AL. Her family was heavily involved at Red Hill United Methodist Church. They were so involved in the United Methodist denomination that they also volunteered a good bit of time at Camp Sumatanga (the local United Methodist camp). Many of my relatives served in the kitchen there. Mom loved her denomination so much, that she somehow convinced my dad to give me the middle name Wesley (after John Wesley).

Mom was pretty much a rebel at heart. Whenever dad went away on a hunting, golf, or ministry trip our house turned into a party. We bought everything my dad would not let us eat, and we watched movies that my dad would have never let us watch. She loved to have fun and see people laugh. She continued this odd habit even through her dementia. We began to find donuts, cookies, and candy that mom had hid from my dad, so that she could have a treat when he wasn't around. There is nothing more untamed than a rebel with a sweet tooth.

My mom loved to have her hair perfectly in place. I think she used an entire can of hair spray each time. I remember going into her bathroom, and there was a thick film of hairspray and make-up dust stuck to the countertop. She ironed everything. I honestly didn't care if anything was ironed. My lack of care for unwrinkled clothes drove her crazy.

She could cook so good. She made the best lasagna. It was so juicy. I hate dry lasagna. She also made the best homemade cheesecakes. One time, she came to visit me at college. She said, "I just want you to know that I made you an Oreo cheesecake, but I forgot it at home." How do you respond to that? "Uh, thanks...I guess."

One summer I worked really hard to save up money to help with my college expenses during the school year. I think I had saved up around $3,000 (that was a good bit in 1997). It was around the end of September that I went to an ATM to check my balance. I had like $4.00 left. In September! I was about to freak out. I called my mom and told her about it. Through the phone, she awkwardly said, "I know what happened. Your account is joined with me because we opened it when you were 14. I needed that money, so I took it." "What! You didn't think drop at least a hint that I was broke?"

Through all of my rebellious years, God graced my mom with an extra portion of patience. I never remember her getting upset with me. She asked me questions, but even though I lied to her face, she loved me unconditionally. Her testimony is one of the main reasons I came to know Jesus. She lived out her faith in words and actions.

She was the most unselfish person I know. She sacrificed so much for the people she loved. She is the epitome of a Proverbs 31 woman. I never heard her say a cross word about my dad. It was because of her lifelong testimony that I formed a perspective of what to look for in a wife. 

I am so glad that I have the full assurance that she will be with Jesus soon. No doubt in my mind. Her suffering will soon be over. I can't wait to see my mom in her glorified and healed body. God has given me an absolute proper blessing to call her my mom.