I Once Was Blind, But Now I See

I have always wanted to live on a large piece of property, and live in a self-sustainable homestead way. Raise my own animals, grow my own vegetables and fruit, etc. It seems like an inner passion to be able to live off of the land, and not be dependent on anyone else. The problem is that no matter how self-sustainable I may become, I am always 100% dependent on God. I am willing to bet that most of us would give a big “AMEN” to this. However, when it comes to placing this worldview into practice, some of us kind of drift away. Lately, I have been wrestling with my own emotions when it comes to my ministry, my family, friends, etc. God is self-sustainable in every sense of its meaning. He is not dependent on anyone or anything in order to fulfill His will. In order to need something means that the action cannot be attained without a separate outside source fulfilling another action. This goes against the sovereignty and self-sustainability of God. When we feel that this person or group...

I have written an article on grace that defines it a little better that what we are going to be doing in this article. Here is a link to that post. In March of 2023, I was diagnosed with Ocular Melanoma in my right eye. Two years later, I was diagnosed with Stage 4 Uveal Melanoma in my liver. A couple of weeks ago, I had a full body PET scan, and it showed that my liver tumors had doubled in size. The oncologist is telling me that I have anywhere from 6 months to 2 years. This could vary depending on how my body reacts to some of the medicine that is designed to prolong my life here on earth. However, none of the proposed medicine is going to heal.  I have tried every natural integrative option to help with my cancer including going to Mexico for 3 weeks to Hope4Cancer. This is a very rare form of cancer, and there is not a medicine on the market that has shown any major results in healing this kind of cancer.  GotQuestions.com defines grace as “God’s benevolence on the undes...

Over the last three weeks, God has opened my eyes to many areas in my life that I needed to clean up. It’s a shame that it sometimes takes a traumatic event to open our eyes to our sin, but I heard so many similar stores through the years. The other day, God convicted me of something that may seem quite minuscule to some. All of my life, I have been told to have a hobby to help get away from the “normal” life. It helps with stress, anxiety, etc. The problem is that many hobbies cost a lot of money, and inevitably cause stress. It sounds very similar to Newton's Third Law of Motion, often called the law of action and reaction, states that for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. I am not here to tell you that hobbies are sinful. By no means. What I am saying is that if I am using the hobby to relieve my stress, then that is wrong. At this point, I have used hobbies in exchange of a closer walk with God. God tells us to cast our cares on him.   I can’t breath withou...

This week, I heard a patient woman at Hope4Cancer tell some people that the Greek word "Sozo" means healing, made whole, etc. This is all correct. Just because someone uses Greek words does not mean that they know what they are talking about. She added in another term to describe the mean of Sozo: "prosperity." She also went on the advertise that she ran a healing ministry in Texas if anyone wants her to pray for them. I know she means well, but the irony of a "healer" at a cancer center. As believers, we desperately have to understand the whole in order to correctly interpret the parts. In a world overflowing with bad vocabulary, it is one of my pet peeves when I hear theological terms used poorly or even completely wrong. Usually bad theological terms are used in conjunction with other bad theology. Although, to be fair, sometimes people have inadvertently been taught wrong, so the blame should fall on the teacher. In light of the opening two paragraphs,...

These past few days have been extraordinary in so many ways. So many opportunities to share the love of Christ. I have noticed that they gradually increase the intensity of the treatments or add more treatments as I progress through the program. It was recommended by my doctor and the founder of Hope4Cancer that I try this intense heat therapy tomorrow. Yesterday, more and more people began to hear about me trying to do this. From nurses, physical therapists, and other patients, this treatment seems to carry some kind of legendary folk lore with it. Last night, I was praying and meditating on God's Word. I was talking to God about how he brought me here to be healed. In order to be healed, we often have to go through an element of being uncomfortable. This is true in the physical life and spiritual life. God takes us through trials to force us to trust in him. At the end of my conversation with God, he brought Job 12:10 back to my attention. He holds my breath in His hands. I was t...

We have been told that we are grieved by various trials in order that our faith might be purified and proven (1 Peter 1:6–7). We are even told that such suffering is necessary for our spiritual growth. In the midst of our difficulties, we can be confident that God is continually working in us to refine our trust in Him. Peter’s repeated emphasis on Christian (1 Peter 3:14–17) makes it clear that the persecution we experience, simply for confessing Christ, is the kind of suffering God uses to strengthen our trust in Him. Before we go too much further, we must define our terminology.  Sickness, death, natural disasters, etc. What is a working definition of a trial? A trial is anything that takes us out of our comfort zone, changes our plans, and forces us to look to Jesus. These are trials, but we must be clear that these should not be considered persecution. No one forced me to take a pill that gave me cancer. Having cancer is a trial. James 1:2-3 " Count it all joy, my brothers,[...

“Behold, God is my salvation;   I will trust, and will not be afraid;  for the  Lord   God  is my strength and my song,  and he has become my salvation.” Isaiah 12:2 So often growing up, I would hear this amazing testimony, and I would be a little jealous. I know. I know. It sounds a little weird. As many of you know, I am the epitome of weird. However, one day it hit me "Am I looking at the testimony, or the one and only God who made that testimony possible?" The problem with this line of thinking is that our testimony is based on us. Sure, we make choices in our life, and some of them are stupid. There is an old saying "If you are going to be stupid, you have to be tough." It is true that our decisions help guide our testimony, it is not true that our testimony's foundation is built on our past. The etymology of guide is to lead. In the sense of our testimony, our choices do lead us in a path. However, this path is much bigger than our choices. Roman...